I should write one shots
by Amenan
Summary: From Stan/Kyle to Craig/Tweek. Any one shots I feel like writing. Did I mention Kenny/Butters? I'm mostly doing this because I hate those one shots that are just a paragraph. I hate those with a passion. FIGHT THE POWER.
1. My Skin Wondered How

"I said oooh girl, shock me like an electric eel." Stan sang out loudly in the car.

"What the hell are you singing?" Kyle asked, jilted by Stan's off-key notes.

"Baby girl, turn me on with your electric feel." Stan ignored Kyle and continued to sing, he made a sharp right turn.

"Stan seriously. What the hell are you singing? And why are you driving like a maniac?"

"You're so 1900's, Kyle. If you don't know MGMT I really don't know why I keep stickin' it to ya'."

"And now you're just quoting The Tripper." Kyle sighed.

"How do you know what I'm quoting?" Stan said innocently, making another sharp turn.

"We saw it together like a week ago." Kyle grabbed hold of the dashboard. "This happens every time we see a movie together. You pick a character to relate to and then you act like him for a week. It's a vicious cycle, Stan."

Stan and Kyle were having another pointless car conversation. This is what people in love did, or so Kyle thought. He really didn't mind as long as the pointless conversation was with Stan and in Stan's car. Just this slice of Kyle's happiness made his world a lot brighter. He smiled at Stan, who was now weaving in and out of imaginary traffic.

Thank God it was 3 in the morning.

Stan and Kyle had just gotten back from a party. For Stan, being his popular and lovable self it was amazing. For Kyle, being his smartass and bored-with-teenage-idiocy self it was the most boring thing since having to read _Catcher in the Rye_. For the 5th time.

"You didn't drink anything right Stan?" Kyle started to question Stan's driving when he completely bypassed a STOP sign.

"Not a thing. I'm just high from the party you know? You know how I get." Just to prove a point to Kyle, Stan slowed down his driving and sat up in the driver's seat.

"Un huh." Kyle reached for the radio tuner in Stan's car. "Where do you wanna' go?"

"_I never meant to start a war,_

_You know I never wanna' hurt you._

_Why does love always feel like a battlefield?"_

Kyle looked down and noticed the radio's station wasn't blinking. In its place was a track number.

"Stan…..is this one of your CDs?"

"Yeah. Shut up." Stan's voice was tinier than usual and he shied away from Kyle. If that was even possible in a 4 seater.

"No, I like this song. It makes me feel like giving someone a blowjob." Kyle said nonchalantly and began to whistle along with Jordin Spark's screams about getting armor.

Stan's arms went stiff and his grip on the steering wheel was vise like.

"What did you just say, Kyle?"

"I said I like this song, it makes me feel like giving someone a blowjob." Kyle repeated with a tinge of fake annoyed-ness in his voice. "I hate repeating myself."

Stan smirked and started to speed up his driving again.

"Stan? Stan? Whoah, Stan! I think we just hit a squirrel! Oh God! Was that a turtle? Stan? STAN?!" Stan's car had become a rollercoaster for Kyle, a rollercoaster with a cheap seatbelt and airbags that he wasn't sure even existed. A rollercoaster that at any time could collide with another rollercoaster, possibly a more expensive, better built rollercoaster. It would be like a rock rollercoaster hitting one made out of glass. Sadly, Kyle realized he was in the glass one.

_Shit._

Suddenly, the car came to a stop and the music died. When Kyle's senses were done whirring he gazed around. They were off road, in a patch of forest.

"Stan-"

"If I blast the song louder can I get more than a BJ?" Stan had already unhooked his seatbelt and was taking off his pants.

"Stan, this-" Kyle pointed to whatever was outside the passenger window and around the car itself. "This is not going to happen."

"Come on, Kyle. You have no idea what it's likeeee." Stan started to whine. Kyle couldn't help himself, he had to ask just what the hell Stan was talking about.

"I have no idea what what's like, Stan?" Kyle crossed his arms and waited for Stan's answer.

_This is gonna' be good._ Kyle thought as Stan finished taking off his pants and began to explain.

"You have no idea what it's like to have such a hot boyfriend that you can't even ravage in public because he doesn't want people to think he's a whoreeeee." Stan said. "But your boyfriend doesn't even realize that's he's practically irresistible. And if anyone did try to hit on him ever, his boyfriend would kill them slowly and painfully. Possibly bloodlettingggg." Stan finished his speech with extra whine.

Kyle smiled. "That was possibly the sweetest and creepiest thing anyone has ever said to me ever, Stan Marsh. I don't know whether to report you to the police or make out with you."

Stan smiled back. "The latter would be awesome."

"Then it's the latter you'll get." Kyle unbuckled his own seatbelt and leaned towards Stan. "Oh and Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Pull your pants back up. That's really not happening. It's 3 AM and we're in the middle of nowhere. If we get caught I'll be branded a ho for life."

"But you'll be my ho." Stan grinned widely.

Kyle scowled in his direction and Stan quickly pulled his pants back up.

"Sorry sorry." Stan had probably apologized 50 times before he had his fly re-zipped.

"I'm not sorry. Especially for this."

Kyle's lips met Stan's hastily, and once again the world was just a screensaver. Stan was his now, his desktop. His wallpaper.

Stan pulled back. "Are you comparing me to computer stuff in your head again?"

"Shut up." Kyle chuckled and kissed Stan even harder.

"Nerd." Stan whispered through their kiss. "My nerd."


	2. Did that Just Happen?

His mouth perfectly resembled a cavernous, dark hole. Stan wondered if he threw a rock into it, would he hear it reach the bottom? Then Stan remembered that if you threw a rock into someone's mouth they would probably choke on it….or would they?

Kenny continued talking to Stan, as Stan stared at his mouth. His black hole of a mouth, lips moving up and down, his white teeth baring slightly like a mountain lion's. Stan's skin started to tingle as he imagined Kenny hopping over the table and ripping him to shreds for not paying attention.

Stan tried to refocus.

"….And that's why I think it totally made sense for me to have sex with Kyle."

"What?" Stan quickly went from spaced out and disinterested to intense kill mode. "You did _what_ with Kyle?"

"I did nothing with Kyle, you were just spaced out. Just trying to get your attention back man. Besides, you know who I'm dating." Kenny smirked and patted the table once.

"….Who _are_ you dating, Kenny?" Stan asked, embarrassed. "Sorry, I was trying to listen. I just get really distracted sometimes you know? I think it's a sign of too much stress."

"Shut the hell up, Stan. What stress? You've got a fan base girl army that would murder for you, you're not taking any AP classes, and did I mention that, that same fan base of girls would also strip down to their panties for you at any given second? Shut the hell up." Cartman sat down beside Kenny, huffing and puffing.

Stan assumed he had just come back from Gym. His assumptions were assured when Cartman's smell reached him.

"Ugh, dude you smell like dead sex." Stan tried to cover his nose with his shirt. "Don't you shower after gym? Or put on deodorant? Or something, honestly anything's better than what you did today."

"For your information Stanass, I showered. It's not my fault it's 500 degrees outside."

"Then take off your JACKET!" Stan exclaimed while coughing. Cartman's scent had created a whole new allergy for Stan. "Please, for the sake of the children."

Cartman puffed again, this time voluntarily, as he removed his jacket and placed it next to him on the seat. The smell disappeared and Stan appreciated fresh air 99.9% more.

"This is probably the last time I'm ever going to say this, Cartman. Thanks." Stan removed his makeshift air filter and smoothed out his shirt. "Now Kenny, who were you dating again?"

A heavy silence circled the table. Stan noticed Cartman's expression, disdain. That was normal. Kenny was wearing a bright smirk. He was waiting on something. Waiting on Stan to figure something out.

"Come on, Kenny just tell me. Who are you going out with?"

The silence continued. Cartman's disdained expression only grew more hate-filled, and Kenny's smirk got brighter and brighter. Its watts were threatening to blind Stan.

Kyle made his way to the table, carrying a single apple. He sat next to Stan and kissed him on the cheek before he tore into the apple savagely.

"Whatchu guysch talching achout?" Kyle said, mouth full of apple.

"Who's Kenny dating?" Stan simply asked Kyle who was adorably biting another chunk out of his apple, despite the fact he wasn't done with his first chunk. Stan thought he looked like a squirrel, an adorable greedy squirrel whose cheeks were stuffed with apple.

"DON'T TELL HIM!" Kenny screamed at Kyle. "LET HIM FIGURE IT OUT!"

"Honey, baby, pumpkin pie, please tell me who Kenny's dating." Stan batted his eyelashes at Kyle. "Pwease?"

"Just for that, I'm not telling you anything." Kyle grinned. "Besides, it really is more fun if you guess."

"Bebe?" Stan got the guessing ball rolling. He held Kyle's hand under the table.

"Nope." Kenny sighed, disappointed. "Good guess though. Hey Kyle, can I have the rest of your apple?"

Kyle handed the rest of the apple over.

"You know, Kenny. Sharing food like that is just like making out with the person. It's basically the exact same thing." Kyle was as generous with facts as he was with his food.

"That's a lie. Making out with you is way more fun than eating your leftover apple. Right, Stan?" Kenny winked and bit into the apple.

Stan ignored him. "Wendy?"

Kenny choked on his apple a little. Cartman swiftly hit him in the back and Kenny was back to normal.

"We-We-Wendy?" Kenny stuttered. "Are you high? She's crazy! Just last week she broke a guy's jaw because he told her she had a nice assembly line going in shop class!"

"Why would she do that?" Kyle mumbled. "I knew she was crazy but…."

"She did it because she stopped him at _ass._ She never heard _embly_ or _line_. Poor guy. Heard he's still in the hospital." Kenny shook his head.

"Cartman." Stan guessed another name, but this time it wasn't a question. It was an answer. "Holy shit, you're dating Cartman."

"What?" Kenny and Cartman were startled at the same time.

"Kenny, he just _helped_ you. Whenever I choke on something, he just sits there and laughs. And steals my Jell-o." Stan was now looking at Cartman, whose look of disdain had turned into somewhat of a smile.

_Bastard. Probably remembering how good that Jell-o was._ Stan thought inwardly as he felt Kyle's grip on his hand grow tighter.

"Good guess." Was all Kenny said and continued to eat the apple.

"Correct guess, he means." Cartman said and took the apple from Kenny.

"Hey!" Kenny whined.

"Don't worry. I've got something better than Jew food." Cartman took out two tickets from his jacket pocket.

"What's that?" Kenny took the tickets from Cartman's hands and scanned them.

"Well nothing really. Just proof of reservation for two at _La Cuisine_ this evening." Cartman raised an eyebrow. "Ever heard of it?"

"It's only the fanciest restaurant in town." Kenny smiled. "Awwww, you do love me."

"While Stan and Kyle here are eating at Mcdonald's eating greasy French fries, we'll be spending our evening eating lobster, duck, or whatever rich people eat." Cartman smiled back at Kenny. "And yes, I do love you."

"I'm going to be sick." Kyle covered his mouth with his hand.

"Don't worry, Kyle! I'll save you!" Stan used the hand he was holding Kyle's with to pull Kyle up with him as he stood. "If you excuse us, we have to evacuate the area before you infect us with your love cooties. I hope you understand."

Stan looked back at Kyle. "You can barely walk. Here." Stan let go of Kyle's hand and bent over a little in front of him. "Piggyback time."

Kyle giddily got on.

"You better hang on tight, spider monkey." Stan said as Kyle was on securely.

"OH MY GOD! HE SAID IT! HE SAID IT! OH MY GOD!" A completely out of nowhere fangirl of Stan's was now screaming halfway across the cafeteria.

"HE'S JUST LIKE EDWARD CULLEN! BUT HE'S SO MUCH HOTTER! GOD I CAN'T DECIDE WHO I WOULD HAVE HOT SEX WITH FIRST!" Another fangirl.

"…..the fuck?" Cartman was mystified by what the girls were saying. "What the hell are they talking about?"

Stan and Kyle had already run away, laughing through the halls.

Kenny beamed at Cartman.

"What? What is it?" Cartman nervously looked Kenny up and down.

"Nothing, Jacob." Kenny kissed Cartman _hard_ in the middle of the cafeteria. Stan's fangirls seemed to squeal in time. "I have to go. I have Geography class in like 5 minutes."

Kenny got up from the table, mock saluted Cartman and walked away.

As Cartman put his jacket back on he heard Kenny's scream down the hall.

"SOMETIMES I WISH I KNEW WHAT YOU WERE. YOU'RE HOT ALLLL THE TIME."

Cartman stood and looked around the cafeteria. All of Stan's fangirls were now staring him down in unison. One girl clutched a book with a pale hand holding an apple close to her chest.

"Is there really a La Push?" A smaller fangirl asked quietly.

"I love you, Jacob Bla-Cartman." A girl with red curls smiled at Cartman, and slightly lifted up her skirt.

"….The fuck?" Cartman gathered up his jacket, the tickets and the deadened apple. He threw the apple at the fangirl holding the book on his way out of the cafeteria.


	3. On A Cold Day Like Every Other

It was dark outside. Kenny and Butters walked through the snowy land mass that was now South Park. They held hands. They watched each other's breathing patterns intently, as lovers tend to do. Wondering if their lover's next heartbeat will be their last, and what they would do if their lover died. Morbid, but completely normal.

Kenny was the first to speak.

"Butters?"

"Yeah Kenny?" Butters moved a little bit closer to Kenny, partly for the warmth and partly because he _could_ now. Ever since they had gotten together Butters felt privileged when it came to Kenny.

"I wanna' ask you something." Kenny stopped his steady pace and Butters did the same. Kenny turned to face Butters who was purposely avoiding his gaze.

"Can I stay over at your house tonight?" Kenny's words fell all around Butters, floating down like the snow.

"Are you okay, Butters?" Kenny slowly spun his boyfriend towards him.

"I don't know, Ken. My parents would be awful sore if they found out I let you stay the _whole_ night. They might think I was gay or something."

Kenny let out a loud laugh and smiled down at Butters. "Because we all know you're not _gay_ or anything right? Straightest boy I know."

Butters laughed too and tightened his grip on Kenny's hand. "You can stay the night. But why, Ken?"

"I just don't wanna' go home tonight. I really don't wanna' go anywhere without you." After saying that, Kenny fake coughed. "Man, this weather is somethin' huh?"

Butters didn't hear a word Kenny said about the weather. His knees were already giving out. He only held himself together with the sheer force of will. Butters felt like a princess….which was so not right. He was losing more man points every second he was in Kenny land.

Butters let go of Kenny's hand and continued their descent down the walkway. "Let's go!" He screamed back at Kenny. Then he had an idea. "I'll race you!"

Butters without looking back to see if Kenny was even racing behind him, ran on fleeing past the winter frosted houses, and the ice picks hanging from their once harmless mailboxes.

Now they were mailboxes of icy death.

In his carefree moments, Butters neglected to realize that there was a thin sheet of glass in the driveway of his house.

Butters soon regretted his neglect as he felt gravity's sudden betrayal.

And then he felt something keeping him from busting his head against the driveway, keeping him from busting anything against the driveway really.

Kenny was holding Butters in his arms like a ragdoll.

"You're so lucky…." Kenny panted. "I'm fast."

Butters let himself down from Kenny's arms and huffed. "Son of a biscuit! I could've had a concussion."

Butters straightened himself out and grinned at Kenny. "I still won though. Fair and square."

"And here's your prize. " Kenny proceeded to kiss Butters sloppily in front of his house. Butters didn't protest and silently wrapped his arms around Kenny. They stood entwined, freezing and happy as hell.

Until Butters' mom opened the front door.

"AHHHHHH! BUTTERS! WHAT IS THIS?!" His mom exclaimed, the fresh batch of butter cookies she had baked went flying all over her frost bitten front lawn. The sound of cookie meeting ice was the soundtrack for Butters and Kenny for a good 10 seconds.

"N-n-nothing mom! I was just. Kenny just. I was just…." Butters was stuttering badly. His nerves were as scattered as the cookies.

"Sorry about that Ms. Stotch. I was just testing to see if Butters was gay. Congratulations, he's not." Kenny beamed at Ms. Stotch who thankfully sighed.

"Well that's wonderful news, Kenny. Butters I expect you to be in bed by 9. And take a shower, you look cold and disgusting." Ms. Stotch grimaced at her son and then smiled brightly at Kenny.

"See you boys inside." She seemed to ignore the mess her cookies had created on the front lawn and walked back inside the house casually.

"Dude, something's seriously wrong with your mom." Kenny patted Butters on the back. "Sorry you have to live with that until….forever."

Butters exhaled heavily. "I'm gonna' take a shower."

Butters headed inside, motioning behind him for Kenny to follow. Kenny fought his instincts and left the cookies where they were on the lawn. He was always raised by the 5 minute rule. Food fell on the ground 5 minutes ago? Still good.

Kenny closed the door behind him and saw Butters hopping upstairs.

"BUTTERS. DID YOU MAKE YOUR MOTHER SPILL THE COOKIES ALL OVER THE LAWN?" A deep thunderous voice came from Butters' living room.

Butters stopped mid-hop.

"…..Yes." Butters squeaked out the answer.

"BUTTERS DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK YOUR MOTHER TO MAKE THOSE? SON, YOU'RE GROUNDED. AND TELL YOUR LITTLE FRIEND I SAID HI."

Kenny assumed Butters' dad meant him when he said little friend.

Butters seemed numb to his dad's punishment and happily continued up the steps. Kenny quietly followed.

When Kenny reached Butters' bedroom, Butters already had his shirt and pants off. He stood in his Captain Planet boxers. He tipped an imaginary hat in Kenny's direction.

"Welp, I'll be getting in the shower now, Ken. You can go next if you want." Butters started for the bedroom door. Kenny backed against the door, closing it completely.

"Next? Why can't I go with you?" Kenny smirked. "I know how much you like to conserve. Save water, Butters. Shower with me."

The pick up line was way over Butters' head. He didn't even respond to it."Well golly gee, Ken. I don't think that's appropriate with my parents in the house-"

Kenny smashed his lips against Butters and in an instant pulled them away. It was a simple, desperate kind of kiss. It lacked class, grace and everything good that could come with a kiss. It was just a begging motion of lips meeting lips.

"Alright." Butters agreed and pushed Kenny slightly off the door. "I'm still going in first. Wait a while, then come in. So my parents don't get suspicious."

Kenny watched Butters walk down the hall. As soon as Butters was in the bathroom, Kenny followed.

"K-k-kenny?! I told you to wait a while-"

"Yeah, I heard that Butters." Kenny began to take off his hoodie and pants hastily, letting them fall to the floor carelessly. Kenny moved towards Butters, resting his hands on the walls behind Butters' head.

"You just looked so cute when your mom caught us." Kenny kissed Butters' neck lightly.

"Talking about my mom while making moves on me is a horrible turn off Kenny." Butters shuddered. "In fact, it's kinda' perverted. Are you a pervert, Kenny?"

Kenny lifted an eyebrow. He pulled his hands from behind Butters and instead placed them on the shower's faucet. He turned it once and an army of water droplets pummeled the bathroom's innocent pink tub.

It was great symbolism for what he planned on doing with Butters in the shower right now.

"Come on." Kenny held out a hand for Butters.

Butters took it and got in the shower, Kenny followed suit.

Kenny kissed Butters' forehead. "I'm a pervert, just like those guys your parents tell you to never take candy from." Kenny pulled Butters closer to him in the shower.

"But don't strangers have the best candy?" Butters kissed Kenny's lips and grinned.

Nothing too interesting happened after that. Just two random boys, in a medium-sized bathroom, enjoying a very cramped shower together.

Author's Note You Don't Need To Read: This is for Mizuni-no-neko! :D. haha. Random bold font. Ignore me.


	4. Neon Electric Love Story

Stan couldn't help himself.

Stan was going to kiss him.

Stan was going to kiss him and no one could _stop him._

Stan grabbed his ugly neon green shirt by its shoulders and pushed him into the blotted crimson wall.

_It was now or never._

Kyle then ruined the moment by smiling and playfully pushing Stan away from him.

"God Stan, I had no idea you were so serious about hooking up with Hailey." Kyle laughed. "I'll go apologize right now dude, if you want me to."

Stan and Kyle were at a Neon Party being thrown by no one other than Kenny. Kenny's family's left on vacation to Florida for the weekend, and Kenny begged to stay behind and housesit so he could finish "studying" for his final exams. Kenny had hired Wendy & Bebe, the premiere party planners at South Park High, to plan and execute an inventive theme party. The neon party matched Kenny's personality perfectly, seeing as neon colors were something that weren't too threatening but they'd be damned if you were going to ignore them. Stan was given bright pink glow in the dark bracelets, necklaces and rings to wear as soon as he came in the door. Despite his protests that pink was a girl's color he noticed that only one other partygoer was donned in pink neon. Hailey Livingston wore her pink necklaces as a headband and awkwardly moved back and forth between some of her drunken girlfriends from school as an unknown electronic band was being blasted from the stereos. She was bone thin, and styled her artificially maroon hair in a ponytail. Kyle was already at the party. He had purchased a luminescent shirt that even made the experienced rave goers wince and was spinning in circles on the dance floor, _literally._

"HE'SSSSSSLIKKKKKKEARAINBOWWWWWW." Stan heard a drunk's severely slammed together words yelled out when Kyle began his simplistic spinning dance move.

A little while later, Kenny announced that if you were given a color to wear when you entered the party you were on his list of people that urgently "needed to hook up with each other". When Stan heard this he remembered skinny, awkward Hailey who had probably left the party by now. She didn't look too comfortable, and Stan was almost sure she was the designated driver for her friends. However, he was proved wrong when he felt a bony hand grab on to one of his.

"Hi Stan." Hailey grinned mischievously. Now that she was up close Stan could tell that she was even skinnier than he thought she was before. Her Hello Kitty t-shirt desperately tried to hang onto her, and her intense diamond studded white leggings were already making their descent towards the ground.

"Hey Hailey." Stan pointed to her makeshift pink headband and nodded. "Apparently, Kenny thinks we need to hook up."

Hailey giggled. "Yeah he does….and I'm starting to think he's right. You know Stan, I never noticed before but you're hot."

"So you only realized that I'm hot at a dimly lit party?" Stan replied and slyly removed his hand from her hand's grip.

Hailey snorted and put one of her hands over her mouth. It reminded Stan of a tree holding up one of its spindly branches to its broad trunk.

"You know Hailey, you could be a model. You know, if you wanted to be." Stan let his words out, before realizing what he just said could be taken as a signal for Hailey to continue her flirt fest. Stan groaned loudly when he realized his mistake. He then groaned again when he realized that his out of place groaning _could also be taken as a signal._

Stan was going to be flirted with for the rest of the night, and there was no way out of it.

Kyle then appeared out of nowhere and introduced himself to Hailey.

"Hey Hailey, I'm Kyle. You know how people say if you keep a part of your body in the same position for long enough it gets stuck that way?" Hailey cautiously shook her head, and shot a "your friend is weird" look at Stan. Kyle continued with his story anyway.

"You know Hailey, I heard about the last party you went to. So are your legs still spread open or what?" Kyle tipped an invisible hat towards Hailey. "Some of the guys told me you're quite the _cowgirl._"

Hailey's eyes widened and disgust crept across her face. She scowled quietly and patiently waited for Stan to defend her.

Stan stood in between Kyle and Hailey, but overall did absolutely nothing but serve as a temporary wall.

Hailey spat at Kyle and screamed. "DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT ME THAT WAY. YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME, KYLE. YOU PIECE OF SHIT."

Kyle casually smirked. "I may be a piece of shit, Hailey. But at least I'm not stupid. Come on Hailey, at least charge a fee or something. _Whores_ get paid, sluts do not."

Hailey's face turned a deep maroon, and she stormed away from Stan and Kyle. Hailey yanked a cell phone away from one of her inebriated friends and dialed a number so loud Stan could hear the numbers being pushed. Hailey cried into the phone and kept muttering the words "drunk", "douchebags", "bastards" and "I always used a condom".

Stan stood dumbstruck next to Kyle who was staring at him blankly.

The next thing he knew, he was in the bathroom, which had been either vandalized or decorated with glowing violet spray paint. The lights were replaced by faintly gleaming azure crystals that hung from the ceiling.

Kyle was still laughing from what happened earlier with Hailey. Stan couldn't tell if it was the party or the non-alcoholic water/possibly vodka he had had to drink earlier that night, but he _wanted_ Kyle right now. The way he was _supposed_ to want Hailey. The way he wasn't supposed to want his best friend.

Stan couldn't help himself.

Stan was going to kiss him.

Stan was going to kiss him and no one could _stop him._

Stan grabbed his ugly neon green shirt by its shoulders and pushed him into the blotted crimson wall.

_It was now or never._

Kyle then ruined the moment by smiling and playfully pushing Stan away from him.

"God Stan, I had no idea you were so serious about hooking up with Hailey." Kyle laughed. "I'll go apologize right now dude, if you want me to."

"Kyle, can I kiss you?" Stan didn't even hear himself ask. He didn't know where the question came from, and if anyone accused him of saying it he would insist there was a ghost in the room.

Stan suddenly felt a warmth on his lips and warmth underneath his shirt. Kyle had lightly pressed Stan into the sink, and his hands were traveling all over Stan's body.

Stan kissed Kyle back, and gently removed Kyle's shirt. Stan sat on the sink and let Kyle softly bite his neck, while he unbuckled Kyle's powder blue jeans. Kyle was now dressed in nothing except his plain brown boxers and golden sandals. Stan stopped kissing Kyle and simpered.

"What's wrong?" Kyle asked and promptly took a step back from Stan.

"You're so beautiful. You could be a model, if you wanted to be." Stan bit his lip and pulled Kyle into him again.

Kyle pulled away. "Please don't use recycled pick up lines on me, Stan. It insults my excellent memory."

"Excellent memory? That was like five minutes ago. That doesn't count." Stan shrugged. "Sorry, but having short term memory doesn't make you an excellent remember…er. Now come here." Stan attempted to put his hands around Kyle's waist and pull him closer, but instead Kyle got on his knees. He pulled Stan's dangling legs from off the sink forcefully, causing Stan to almost trip.

"I remember last year you told me you always wanted to do something _dirty _in a public bathroom." Kyle unzipped Stan's shorts. "Is this _dirty_ enough for you?"

"Depends on what you're about to do." Stan's brain at this point was barely functioning. All his blood was headed somewhere more preferable.

A small click was heard, and a choking, squeaking sound that resembled a snort was heard.

Hailey was in the bathroom's doorway with her digital camera snapping away pictures of Stan and Kyle.

"WHO'S THE SLUT NOW, KYLE? THIS IS GOING TO BE EVERYWHERE WHEN WE GET BACK TO SCHOOL. YOU'RE SO OVER."

Kyle calmly answered. "Hailey, Stan's my boyfriend. We've been together for over 2 years. How long were you with Greg, Marcus, Taylor and Harris before you started doing _this_ with them in bathrooms?"

Hailey's vicious chuckles turned into long, deep sobs. She threw her camera at Kyle's head, and ran downstairs back to the party.

"We've been together for over 2 years, huh?" Stan looked down at Kyle. "You're a little too good at this lying thing."

"Lying?" Kyle got up from the floor, and proceeded to put his clothes back on. "Let's go back to my place. This party is getting boring." After he was dressed he grabbed Hailey's camera and searched through her pictures.

"You know, I really could be a model." Kyle mumbled. Stan smiled and kissed Kyle one more time before they left the bathroom together. They passed Kenny's parents' bedroom and saw Hailey and Kenny making out on the bed. Kenny noticed the two passing the room and gave them a quick thumbs up before Hailey pushed him back on the bed and wrestled with the buttons on his shirt.

Stan and Kyle left the party holding hands. Kyle complained about how the party didn't play at least one techno song he could dance the robot to appropriately, and Stan somewhat listened. He didn't know what was going to happen after tonight, if he went to Kyle's place. Would that make him Kyle's boyfriend? Or would they just stay friends? Would Kyle want to put a label on whatever it was they just discovered they had between them? When did _this even start?_ The only thing Stan was sure of was that he never wanted to be without Kyle. And Kyle's hand squeezing his told him Kyle never wanted to be without him, either.


End file.
